Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:02 This is the get ready podcast.
Speaker 1 00:00:05 <inaudible> <inaudible> we're
Speaker 0 00:00:21 Back Jordan Goodfellow here, gig. Ready? It is a beautiful Monday. Uh, we are coming to you from all over the country. We've got Florida, we've got Oregon. We've got Colorado. We're excited to be here today. Joe is in the house. He is killing it there. How are you doing today, brother? Doing all right. Good weekend. Excellent, good Monday. That's right. It is a good Monday. And man, we're excited about our guest today. He is the founder of 11 coaching. He has one of the largest coaching firms in north America. He is also actually my personal performance coach. Mike, Mel. Thank you for being here, sir. We appreciate it. Excited to have you and really looking forward to a great chat today.
Speaker 2 00:01:10 Super happy to be here. It's
Speaker 0 00:01:12 Awesome. Um, as we grow back into post pandemic world and you know, I, I, I'm just going to dive right in from a performance standpoint. Um, what is coaching performance, coaching, business coaching, and why is it even more relevant now than it was 18 months ago before we rolled into the pandemic?
Speaker 2 00:01:43 Oh, just want to remind everybody, if you spend a year locked in your house that will affect you. Really. We need to go too far down that road for everyone to agree on that. And now we've got to get back in the game, but the game of capitalism didn't slow down at all. You know, our, our job as performance coaches is to have people do whatever there is to do to have their life turn out. And mostly it's action-based stuff. Sometimes it's touchy, feely. Like if, you know, you want to elevate your relationship with your spouse, probably some kind words will be involved in it. Um, but we believe that everybody deserves, uh, to have all the resources they need to be successful. And every champion has someone who is supporting them in their achievement. So yeah, I guess that includes,
Speaker 0 00:02:37 I couldn't agree more. Um, you know, Mike and I have been working together for a little over a year and a half and uh, I mean, it's been a really a life-changing experience for me as someone who honestly was not very self-aware before now. Um, I would, I would figure out a no when I would do stupid things from time to time. But beyond that, I was not aware of why I was doing the things that I was doing and what I was doing. Um, and, and when you enter into a relationship with somebody who is a performance coach, um, it's a, it's a complete paradigm, excuse me, paradigm shift, um, in, in your mentality, um, is that something Mike that you find is common when it comes to coaching and helping people kind of get out of their own way in business?
Speaker 2 00:03:31 Yes. Um, so at 11 coaching, we have our own method. It's very performance oriented. Um, and w what we find is people that don't take themselves seriously, don't want to do business with us. Um, now I will say Jordan and not all of our clients are, you know, as ambitious and successful as, as y'all are, right. Because I don't think that's what everyone comes to us for. You know, the, everybody has a different definition of the top of the mountain. And so what we're interested in with people is determining what that is and what it will take for them to get there. Some people come to us because they want millions of dollars, or they want to be famous or start a business. Some people just want a new career or new career direction or help getting a job. Some people just want to be a better parent or a better, you know, spouse. Um, and mostly it's a little of column and a little of column B. Got it.
Speaker 0 00:04:27 Okay. So that's, I mean, the Y is varied from person to person, as we already know, um, you know, Simon Sinek famously said in his book, start with why, um, to figure out what you even want, because you can't know where you're going, unless you have a destination in mind. Um,
Speaker 2 00:04:47 Yes. And in performance coaching, we start with, what, what do you want? And then you reserve the right to change your mind so you can throw it out. But ultimately there, I think a piece that people forget is, if you say I'm going to take a trip, you're driving aimlessly. If you say I'm going to Chicago, now you can figure out how to get there. Right. And I know for human beings often, like if we don't know, we want something, it can seem overwhelming to embark on a course of action, but, uh, we do reserve the right to change our mind. And you may notice people are doing it all the time, right? Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:05:28 Well, I mean changing minds, especially if we're looking at where we want to go can be a daunting task. Uh, what do you find are the hardest, the hardest parts of dealing with, I mean, aside from the people, cause people of themselves can be a pain in the butt, but, uh, w what do you find is great? That's good. What do you find is some of the hardest things to deal with when you, when you you're coming into a, a new coaching relationship?
Speaker 2 00:05:57 So I have like a bunch of canned answers that I think would sound good, but I'm not going to give you those. I'm just going to give you all the real one that I would give you. If you were working with me. Um, the hardest part is consistency because the concept of consistency requires a long period of time. You can't be consistent for something over a couple of days. It takes two months, and there's not a one of us that doesn't know how hard it is to do something over time. Yeah. And that's the hardest part is people talk about, I just want to keep something up or maintain something or keep it going. And we often resist the idea that we're going to fall off the wagon, slow down and fail. There'll be ups and downs. And it's, how do you maintain momentum over a long period of time? And except some days suck, some weeks are losses. Things don't work out, but the whole thing about being alive as you keep moving until it ends. And so I really think that's the hardest part.
Speaker 3 00:07:01 I think the, the, the real key to, uh, consistent consistency is being held accountable. If you can, if you can hold yourself accountable, or somebody is holding you accountable, you are more likely to maintain that consistency. Then if you don't have somebody, not, not necessarily that somebody that's that's, um, uh, micro-managing you, but just somebody that's watching over you, you know, I, I liken it to how I, I handled my son this year during COVID. He was awesome about staying on task with, with, uh, all this schoolwork and all of his piano and TaeKwonDo, whatever. And rather than being this micromanaging parents saying, you have to do this on this date, that, that the debt, like we set up a basic schedule, and then he stuck to it. And then I would check in with him. And it was just all about accountability to keep that consistency going.
Speaker 2 00:07:59 What you just described is basically all performance coaching. It's all management. It's, it's that doing part of all leadership, whether you're a parents or a manager or a business owner, or a, uh, a soccer team coach, sorry, football, right. Soccer. But I smell really great because the yes, sports ball, the real question for me and what you said, Joe, is what does it take to be willing to be held accountable? Because I don't know if you noticed, but like advice isn't really that effective. Like people are telling people what to do all the time, and they're going to let you just do what I tell you. But maybe when people tell you what to do, that's not really effective. I don't know. Most human beings I've met have had the experience of someone saying, oh, you know what you should do. And it's like, totally irrelevant to how we feel or what we want, or it doesn't resonate. Or they say it to us. And then, you know, like that, or I'm trying hold you accountable. I'm telling you what to do. And because, you know, none of us want to have some thumb over our heads.
Speaker 4 00:09:01 We'll ask you, what is it? Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:09:05 Asking for advice is like attempting to justify a decision you've already made in your mind, asking for accountability is essentially asking someone to say, you've made this decision now I'm going to hold you to it. Um, that's the guess, that's the cause if I go and ask somebody for advice I'm asking for, I probably have already have an idea in my head of what I really want to do. And I just want something else to either back that up or counteracted. Whereas if I go to someone and say, I want you to hold me accountable, I'm saying, I know what I want to do, and I need your help to actually accomplish it.
Speaker 2 00:09:50 Yeah. So the thing of it is, and this might sound a little hokey pokey, but it's, it's not meant to be, um, real accountability is actually a very intimate experience because when you get beyond like the every day boring conversations, we all have about why we do things and why we didn't do things and traffic and the weather and the kids, you start to really deal with. Like, we all resist stuff in irrational and predictable ways. And for each of us, whatever that is, that's like our personal, that's like the story of our life, right. That thing we do. But if overcoming that was like easy, then everyone would just be their ideal selves all the time. And really holding someone accountable means you're going to bump up against the, the real failures in life. Like the story of my life is X, right? Like I kept dating the same woman with a different haircut over and over again.
Speaker 2 00:10:51 And like at some point that became the story of my life and dating a different kind of person requires a bizarre experience. And so that's the thing about accountability is, you know, it's not enough to hold people to promises. Did you do this? Did you do that? Because people can keep their own to-do lists. It's like, how do you free people up from where they're stuck and have them go do something different? And how do you have people really deal with no matter how you feel, what there is to do, doesn't change. I find people really relate to this as parents, because as a parent, like there's a certain point of like, look, it doesn't matter how you feel like kids have to be fed and cleaned or like bad things are gonna happen. And so all accountability is dealing with how do we get all that other stuff out of the way? So you can just focus on what's in front of you. That's the art of coaching, right? Because obviously if it was as easy as telling people what to do, not only would I be out business, but everyone would be able to just, Hm,
Speaker 3 00:11:59 Well, I think also with, with accountability, the, the motivation to maintain that accountability is predicated on giving yourself micro goals, giving yourself just little nuggets that you, you kind of nip away at. And then you realize, oh, I got through 20 goals. And now I'm at the next juncture, the next node to get to that next place that I want to get to. How do you, uh, how do you, how do you go set for your typical client or, or person coaching?
Speaker 2 00:12:38 Well, I want to, before I answer that, I want to say something about what you just said. Cause I think you really just touched on a thing. Motivation is kind of an illusion. No, one's motivated for three weeks at a time. You're motivated this afternoon to do something, right. I mean, people want to, you know, like we can debate the merit of the word motivation and what does it mean and how does it express itself? But that's kind of, besides the point, like motivation is a burst, like a sprint, like a mini clean the garage now, and then you'd do it until you lose interest and move along. Right. Motivation is good for cleaning a tub, but it's not going to get you through life because it leads to that magical thinking of I'm going to get in the zone and then stay there for eight years. It's crazy. Right. Um, but at 11 we don't, we keep it really simple. Right. So what we do is we say to people, all right, well, what do you want? And then we work with them to define it because you can measure anything in life. You're going to happiness. What's, what's something that makes you happy, Joe. Um,
Speaker 3 00:13:43 I like hanging out with my family. I love, I love just not having anything on my plate and being able to focus on them, that, that thing right in front of me, like you said,
Speaker 2 00:13:53 They'll be really happy that you said that without even hesitating by the way. But the thing of it is that's totally measurable. The amount of time you spend with your family and measuring where your phone is in relationship to you, that's measurable. That's what we do is we have people actually say, these are the things I want because our real life isn't actually filled with concepts in my real life. My butt is in a chair and the temperature's a certain thing and my hair looks how it looks and I'm talking to who I'm talking to and doing stuff. And I think there's a, there is a gap between the intellectual concept of being alive and being alive moment by moment. And so what we're interested in at 11 is, and really, hopefully in my mind, all coaches are interested in people really impacting that moment to moment quality of life, because it's easy to romanticize what we went through to get to where we're at. Like, when I think about what it was the star nowadays, it's like great poetry. It's like, oh, it was so noble. And I went through all that and now I'm here, but I will tell you all, there's nothing noble about starving and when you're starving, it's not great and it's not romantic in any way. And so I personally am fascinated by that gap between how we see life like in our heads and then how we experience it as we're going through it.
Speaker 3 00:15:17 And I love, I actually love the journey of its evolution. As you, as you get older, that, that scope that you can see in front of you just as completely different than what I was seeing when I was 20 or when I was 10 or, you know, 30, every, every five years, two years, one year even. I mean the last year has been obviously completely changing to our, to our entire world and our world vision and how we see things and how we, you know, how we interact with people and how we want to be with people. I think, I think, you know, having that ability to reassess and reevaluate and, and change your, your vision of what's happiness and what's not, um, is, is key to being successful in anything you're doing.
Speaker 2 00:16:12 Yeah. It's a lot easier said than done though. Like course. Yeah. One of the things that I think is, is interesting and random is I think often human beings use the word simple and easy interchangeably, even though we all know they don't mean the same bang, right. What you're talking about right now is simple, but actually living that way on a Monday afternoon is not easy. It's simple exercise every day and stock up the carbs and you'll lose the weight. Yeah. Feel free to have that so easy to do. Right? Yup.
Speaker 0 00:16:51 I've completely removed the idea or the word easy from my vocabulary because every time I say the word easy and it just totally comes back to bite me, but I would tell guys, oh, that gigs going to be easy, dude. No problem. And then like, it's, I mean, it's the gig from hell. And, uh, and so I've changed that to, alright, this is, this is a very straightforward, and it is very simple gig, but I will not promise you. It will be easy. Um, you know, two, two screens and some PA and some projectors is simple, but it may not be easy because there are so many factors that determine the ease of something that are beyond your control. Um,
Speaker 2 00:17:33 So two fun facts. There are over half a million words in the English language and the thesaurus app is free for your phone. So technically none of us are stuck with the words we use. That's very true. Okay.
Speaker 0 00:17:47 That's very true. It's and changing our vocabulary. I mean that for me, and I think Mike, you and I have worked, you know, talked about this over the last year and a half or so is like changing what you call things. And you and I have talked about this a lot is, is what are you calling it? Um, and, and choosing to change how you relate to everything in your life, including the things that you don't have control over, um, because your relation to those things is what is really, what, what brings the change about that you may want to see?
Speaker 2 00:18:23 Yeah. Uh, I, um, I have a cousin who talks my ear off, oh my God, this too will start talking. And he just will not stop for an hour about everything. And then yeah. He's family. And if I say something about it, he'll be like, come on. I'm like you, what do you expect from me? Right. But it really is for me the difference between, oh my God, this dude won't show up, shut up. And wow, I am the person. This guy wants to tell all of his thoughts to not everybody else. That is a huge difference for me, because if I relate to him as you're not paying any attention, you're rambling, I'm annoyed. But if I relate to him like, wow, I'm the person he wants to share all his thoughts with all of a sudden listening matters, you know? And I understand it's semantics, but I just want to point out that. So is the difference between living with cancer and dying from cancer and literally that's the difference between your quality of life when you have cancer?
Speaker 0 00:19:25 Huh? That's exceptionally deep. I hadn't even thought about the idea of changing. Like I have those people too, where it's like, when they just start talking and it just goes and goes and goes, and in your head, you're just thinking, will you please shut up? Will you please shut? Um, I called them
Speaker 3 00:19:44 Hostage, talkers. Um, they, they hold you hostage taker.
Speaker 2 00:19:50 You know, that's just, I know when I say to someone, man, you're holding me hostage. It makes them feel so good about themselves. You know? And I really want to know that I'm the kind of person that goes around, making people feel bad. I'm only being sarcastic because that to me is the importance of the semantics. You know, I walk into some place to get gas and I see someone and I'm me have a 32nd interaction with them. And if they say something nasty to me that may change my day. Now, if that 32nd interaction with them is the only one I have in my whole life. All of a sudden it matters how we treat people. And by the way, I live in a big city where traffic is so bad. And if you heard me screaming in my car, it wouldn't sound anywhere near as enlightened as, so it's not like I have anything figured out.
Speaker 3 00:20:35 I grew up in Southern California. So I I've incented words, curse words, uh, while threat, while driving.
Speaker 2 00:20:44 But that's, you know, the other thing is this and, and it's, we are all only human. And then this notion or this idea that we can transcend not using same because there is one way to stop being human. But I don't really think we want that yet. You know, that's for later. Yeah. And so it's like I find, and this goes back to the accountability thing in the heart of performance, when, when it's okay for people, to him, her cave, for them to be only human, it's easier to, to adults every day can not be your best day. Every workout can not be a personal best. Every sale. Can't be the highest that's insane. Yeah.
Speaker 3 00:21:37 And you have nothing to look forward to the next day. You know, if you're have, you're always, if you're always doing the best thing ever at all times, then you have nothing to look forward to. Cool.
Speaker 2 00:21:50 No, I don't know if those two things are quite that related, but I will say that my good friend, Chloe always says, if you win the rat race, you're still a rat. What happens is I'm always, I'm always hesitant to have things be in conversations like this, all about big achievement. Right? My favorite movie is citizen Kane, um, which is semi based on a true story. Uh, but I really think that movie illustrates the bankruptcy of just trying to have it all. If you don't manage what matters to you, the, I think what, what everybody wants is to live a life that they can feel like they did something of value and that they participated in, uh, in a way that made the world a better place and that they were good to the people that they love. And sometimes for me, stopping to watch a sunset is harder than doubling my income. And so, you know, it, the question really becomes is it what people want that matters or just that people notice how they feel when they get what they want, because how many times have you gotten what you want? And you forgot the part where you're supposed to be happy, or you get a check for 10 grand and you celebrate for about a minute and a half, and then it's right back to work. Like it never happened.
Speaker 3 00:23:16 Yup. Yeah. I'm, uh, I'm a golfer, uh, in my spare time. And, uh, I used to do, I was on the golf channel amateur tour for a short time and played a lot of tournaments and won and lost. And, and I never took anything away from the wins. I always took away a ton more when I lost, because I remember everything I did wrong and everything I should have done and everything I, I could have done better to, to actually win the tournament rather than the ones I actually won. I couldn't tell you anything I did in those tournaments.
Speaker 2 00:23:51 But when you look back, I bet mostly what you remember are snippets of moments, standing on a fairway or watching a ball fly or how it felt when you be in the sand trap, like being in the game, not the result. You remember the variance of it, right?
Speaker 3 00:24:09 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because
Speaker 2 00:24:12 That is where real elevated performance comes from is actually being there in the moment, participating fully.
Speaker 3 00:24:24 I remember, I remember the jokes I told on the fairway. I don't remember any of the shots.
Speaker 4 00:24:29 What's the jokes. Um,
Speaker 3 00:24:34 You know, why they call it golf, right? Cause fuck was already taken. That's really great. Well, what, um, when you think of coaching now, I guess number one, w
Speaker 0 00:24:54 Mike, do you believe everybody should have a coach or it's reserved for specific types of people, um, that are, you know, wanting to do better or do more and not for people who say, Hey, I'm happy with where I am. Everything's good. And there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 2 00:25:18 That's a great question. I think coaching is about what you're up to, not the person, right? Like obviously you have to be willing, but I'm even dentistry doesn't work if you're not willing. Right. You got brush your teeth right out anyways. Um, but it's more about, you know, where you find yourself in a part of life. So, you know, at 11 we S we, we start with four month agreements with people and really like large percentage of our clients are with us between four and six months. Like the vast majority of them, many of them do come back later, but it's because, um, like I believe real high quality, performance coaching isn't necessarily for the rest of your life. It's for, while you're playing a game now, you know, Jordan, you and I have been working together for a long time and you're up to a lot of big things.
Speaker 2 00:26:13 So there's always something else to deal with. Yeah. And those are my personal favorite gigs, but I would, I don't necessarily see it as like, uh, people have to have it or they should have it because I'm very mindful of not building dependency. Like if I got hit by a falling satellite right now, you're still going to kill the game. You know, you don't need me. Um, but it really dealing with, uh, coaching is not therapy. And I have a therapist and I love him too. Um, but it really is. What are you up to in life if you want to achieve something quickly? Um, I'm sure you've noticed when someone else has a problem, you know, what they should do about it. And when it's you, it's a little bit more mysterious. Now I know some people always have the answer for their own life and they always know what to do. And I respect that. Definitely then coaching isn't inappropriate. Maybe they should be
Speaker 3 00:27:11 A coach, right. I guess,
Speaker 2 00:27:14 But back to, you know, telling people what to do really works. My job would be so much easier. You know, like if I could just tell people what to do and they would do it, oh, you do this. But see them, we all have to live. Then everyone who deals with me has to live in a world where they have to see the world the way I do. And the truth is we all don't see the world differently. Right. We live in an abundant time. If you think about how many potato chips, just potato chips and sodas there really are. And how many different combinations of that there are, that's how different people are. That's why telling people what to do. Doesn't work because we're all different. Yeah. So, I mean, could everyone benefit from a coaching if they're up to something and they can find the right match? Yes. Because that's the other thing I don't believe one size fits all with human beings. I know there's all these sayings about, well, I guess technically I could have a relationship with anyone, but if you look out of there and in real, I feel that way. Right. You know? Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:28:18 It doesn't work that way. And you and I had a conversation and uh, if, if, say that again, Mike, keep going, no, I was going to say you and I had a conversation last week where I was feeling overwhelmed. Um, I felt like everything was going off the rails, things, weren't working things weren't doing what they should be doing. And instead of just telling me to get over it, you, you were able to help me walk through each portion of it to realize that it was just a bunch of things that needed to be done. And it wasn't anything catastrophic that was going to end the game and that it was, and that it was going to be the end of the world. But in my mind, in that moment, I was like, holy crap, this is it. We're done. This is terrible. It w you know, we're going, we're crashing and burning.
Speaker 0 00:29:09 We're going down in flames here. And then, you know, an hour later, it's like, listen, it's just a list of stuff that needs to be done. And when you do it and it gets done, and it was never a moment of you saying, oh, Jordan, get over that. You should just get over it. You should just suck it up. You should just deal with it. Like, cause that's not helpful. I mean, how often have, and I've, I'm guilty of this myself. If I said, ah, just get over it. You'll be fine. You know, it's like, suck it up green puff. Um, but really, truly does that. It, unless it's in a joking sense, does it really actually help anybody to just use some stupid platitude? Uh, that, that sounds good in the moment, but yet actually has zero impact whatsoever.
Speaker 2 00:29:54 What's the worst thing you can say to somebody when they're upset, get over it and calm down. When does that ever work to think about, look, if you're listening to this, you don't even have to look farther than yourself when, when you're pissed off and someone says, calm down, you magically go, oh, you know what? You're right. Because I didn't think of that. Right. Um, because the thing is, look, I don't believe in positive thinking. I understand I'm an optimistic person, but I don't believe in positive thinking because the human experience is real when you're pissed off. Not only is that real and happening to you, but it's actually valid. Otherwise you wouldn't be pissed off. And most of the time, our responses to life are appropriate for us, whether they work or not. Right. But to go back to the overwhelmed thing, you said, um, I'm going to, I'm going to give you a, a little tidbit here.
Speaker 2 00:30:48 Um, the, so overwhelm is always a function of a lack of structure, almost always, almost always. And here's what I mean by that. Anytime you're overwhelmed, if you stop and make a list of everything there is to do, what you will find out is the list is, is very short. Um, there's only going to be five things on it or eight things on it. It's just, you're thinking about it. And in your head, it's really overwhelmed, but overwhelm is almost always a lack of structure. And if you just stop and say, what do I have to do? Then you have to deal with it. Although if you're overwhelmed, you don't have to deal with anything because everything is crazy. And, oh my God, I don't know. I'm just overwhelmed. And there's all this stuff to do. What do you got to do? I got to go drop the stuff off with the dry cleaners I have to re-register my car and I have to fit your out. What's for dinner. Oh, so there's a little tidbit on overwhelmed.
Speaker 3 00:31:54 I will say, uh, uh, you are absolutely 100%, right? When it comes to that. If, if I don't have a list of stuff to do, I build it up in my head and then it becomes this ginormous head list in my head. That, that then if I were to actually take down a microscopic bits, oh, it's not that big a deal. And I do need to get over myself. And I do not, not, not need to be overwhelmed. So I, I,
Speaker 2 00:32:23 Yeah. Yes. One of the reasons that human beings invented pen and paper and digital notepads or whatever you use, it doesn't matter. Like you have a thing to write stuff down on. One of the reasons we invented that is so we can write stuff down. I, if you really want to spend the rest of your life going through life, going milk, bread, eggs, milk, bread, eggs, milk, bread, eggs, bread, eggs, bread, eggs, bread, eggs, eggs, eggs, Ooh, cookies. I forgot the eggs are, well-funded not good. The problem is nobody wants to be a real nerd and writing stuff down and being studious is nerdy, but that's what it takes to have a life that works is you gonna have to be, you know, put forth the effort to like write stuff down and manage your life. And I don't want to do it either. Like I, it's not, I don't like my calendar. It's just, it literally is an extension of my long-term memory because
Speaker 3 00:33:19 I need these post-its. I used to post it so I can remain a little chaotic, just, just so I don't feel too nerdy. Okay.
Speaker 2 00:33:27 That's great. And I'm going to say this to all, y'all listening to it. And I know other people may not agree, but there is no right way to manage your life. There's only the one that works for you. And if, what works for you as post-it notes, scattered use it. Cause the failure people have is they spend all that money to buy that management system or learn about managing time. And then they don't use it well that ain't no different than, you know, anything else in life. If you don't use it, gym memberships, right. What is it like 60% of them go on used, right? Same thing. Yup. Okay.
Speaker 0 00:34:00 So then if I struggle with planning, what can I do? Because really truly that's what it is. I mean, plan writing things down, whether it's a list or whatever, you're ultimately creating a plan in some way. Um, how can people overcome their fear of planning?
Speaker 2 00:34:20 Uh, so one of my favorite quotes is by a fella named Dave Grohl in the year 20 21, 1 of the living and greatest gods of rock that's still exists. And what Dave Grohl said is, well, you got to suck before you can rock. And that is what people don't want to do. They don't want to suck at something. I suck at planning. Great. Maybe you should keep doing it. And then you won't. Um, you know, people pretend like, uh, everybody has like a special recipe that they've made. That's like their signature dish and people pretend like they've just been cooking it since they were born. People pretend like, ah, there's stuff I'm good at. I was always good at. But if you think about the thing that you're truly masterful at in life, because everybody's got one, there was a time when you sucked at that too. And it's the, this goes back to the consistency thing. Right? See, I don't think accountability is about, did you do this or did you do that? I mean, that's just having another parent, right? Accountability is about, okay, that week is over now. You're still alive. And we got to do stuff. What's it going to take to get things forward? And that involves a new relationship to failure. Statistically speaking at most things in life, we will fail more often than we succeed. So Jordan, what's your favorite thing to cook?
Speaker 0 00:35:59 Oh, something on the grill, you know, I mean, or smoke, let's say brisket. Brisket's probably one of my favorites.
Speaker 2 00:36:07 Perfect. How many briskets did you make? Where the best brisket you ever made? None. Okay, great. Then all of them are sub par by your own standards. So it's not the game of the perfect one. It's the game of today. I'm going to do something. We don't think about that because mostly we just have like jobs where we're just a part of some ongoing entity that's moving. So we don't necessarily think about it that way. I know in the events business, like, it's definitely like, it's about today's gig being great, but this is not an industry for looking for. Perfect. Like you should leave if you want perfection, because mostly it's one chaos after another. What do you mean? The plug doesn't work? It worked five minutes ago. I don't know. What do you mean? The plug that didn't work five minutes ago works now. I don't know. So it's like, and this goes back to what you're saying before Joe, about the journey, right? Is it, it really becomes, if you want to elevate performance in life, then you just have to play only the game you're playing now. A football team can't play against last week's team. That's a different team. They can't carry last week's game into it. It's just we as human beings, we don't take the time to mindfully reset the scoreboard. That's why there's a song called. It's just another manic Monday, actually just heard about this weekend.
Speaker 3 00:37:42 Um, but yeah, that's, that's a great point that, that, you know, you're in a game, you, you need to look at the next play, not what you'd necessarily did 10 plays ago or 10 games ago. Um, but you can also take, you can take things that you've done in the past and recall them as if it was a habit. Uh, and, and it becomes a whole lot easier to, um, to stay on course when you can do that. Well, and they are wired. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:38:22 And that is a real thing. And you know how they say, oh, well, if you do something for 21 days, now it's a new habit and you'll do it forever. Just, just remember, there's a lot of stuff you've done for 21 days, a hundred days that you don't do anymore. So it's not actually true that if you do something for 21 days, you'll automatically do it every day forever without fail. That's all that magical thinking. Because like you said before, Joe, we want to know that we're working toward a future. That's going to be better than today. We want to know that there's something, some reward for our labors with of course the thing that hangs over our head of this life will surely end.
Speaker 0 00:39:02 So if I'm, if, if I'm an event professional and I want to get better and I see, let's say, I want to go to the next level. I'm a, I'm a, I'm an, I'm an engineer in the video world. And I want to get myself to being a director. I'm a, uh, I'm an electrician and I want to become a lighting designer. I am basically, I want to go to whatever the next level, because each, each, you know, each vertical let's say has a, you know, has, has a number of steps. And some people love what they do in certain areas. I'm an a two, but I want to be an, a one I'm a, you know, you want to work your way up the ladder. Um, what are, what are a few things that they should be focusing on within their career from a professional standpoint to work their way up and then how can coaching, help them make that shift to the next level?
Speaker 2 00:40:00 What a great question. Um, so I just want to say, like what I'm about to say, I get that a lot of it is common sense knowledge that people already know. I'm not here trying to act like I'm laying some grand truth on you. Um, the thing about ambition is if you have an ambition to be more, you have to deal with being more, um, there's a quote by a guy named, I guess, Howard Aiken invented compute one of the people who invented computers. And he said, don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If there are any good, you'll have to shove them down people's throats. You know, because if you want to be more in life, you have to take that on yourself. It's not that no one cares about you it's that everyone else is alive and has to survive too. And so the first and most important part is you have to keep learning, especially in the events business.
Speaker 2 00:40:48 This is a technology and may not be bleeding, edge technology, but we're still at the front of it. That's why we're not using windows 95 servers anymore. Right? So there is the thing about, you have to be willing to be someone who understands technology and is willing to learn and grow with it the same way that, you know, any professional trades person needs to learn the tools of their trade and the technology and what's changing and all that. Um, and the other thing is, um, so human society is a bunch of human beings doing things together. And here is something painfully obvious that I know you already know, people want to work with people. They like working and liking, working with people as a combination of so-and-so does good work and so-and-so is pleasant to be around. You know, that person that like makes you want to knock the speaker away on your head.
Speaker 2 00:41:46 So you can go unconscious and not listen to them because it's so unpleasant. Yeah. If you're that person people don't want to work with and especially not for you. And the other thing is, um, most of the stereotypes of management that are presented are not relevant in the modern world. So if we're in the middle of the industrial revolution and I have to get you to work in my machine plant for 14 hours under conditions where you're getting, you know, your lungs turned to whatever people's arms are getting ripped off, uh, that's a different kind of management style than, okay. We have to put the cables down for this event today and this hotel room. And so I personally believe we're on the other side of the singularity is what it really is. I really do. I think we're different kind of species and human beings have ever been before.
Speaker 2 00:42:43 And in the event business, what there is to deal with is it's groups of people working together to produce a result. And the better you are at working with other people, the easier it is to move up. Because when people like working with you, they will work with you. And you know, it's the thing about a log. So if I carry a big log by myself, I can go faster than if I have six people carry it with me. But if I have six people carry it with me, it's going to go way easier and you can carry a bigger log and you can carry a bigger log. So, you know, to sum all that up right into the bullet point format, right? It's, you know, you have to keep learning about your trade and you want to be someone who can work well in a group because look, the customers are never going to stop being the way they are and we can have good laughs about how customers are. And then, you know, the quote unquote horror stories and the, the stereotypes of what it is. But that's the game. If you don't like basketball, then like you shouldn't be shooting hoops or running around with shoes squeaking. And so becoming someone who can be great with people when they're doing all the stereotypical, chaotic things, people do, that's where the money is.
Speaker 3 00:44:09 So we, we as leaders are all coaches in some regard, fashion or form, what, how do you, how do you coach somebody who just can't get out of their own way?
Speaker 2 00:44:26 It doesn't okay. Here's the deal. That's a cool, okay, physically, you're being your own way. You're in the body, but not in front of the body or behind the body. You're locked in it. Now you can try to escape that body that you're in. I understand there's autobody experiences, but like, if you want to leave the body, there's only one way to do it. As far as I know, and you don't get to come back, there's
Speaker 3 00:44:48 No video. If you have somebody on your team repeatedly makes decisions that are detrimental to their own progress. Who do you know that knew that
Speaker 2 00:45:05 I've met a few, you've met human beings that don't make any mistakes or ever get in their own way?
Speaker 3 00:45:10 No, they do get in their own way. Right? They get in their own way all the time. Coach them out of that. How do you get, how do you get around that
Speaker 2 00:45:20 Now? It's do you want to keep restating the question? Because the answer is super unpleasant. I want to stop tripping over my own feet, your species trips over your own feet. That's how it is. If you're looking for a life where you're wildly effective and do everything, right, you're not designed that way. Also. You can't know how to do something, uh, that you've never done before. And nobody shoots a hundred percent unless they cheat horrifically. And if you try to fail a hundred percent of the time, you will accidentally succeed. This is my coaching to people. How do I get out of my own way? What is this conversation? It's so boring. Let's talk about what you want in your real life and let's work toward that. And then when you fail, we'll regroup and play again. And when you succeed, we'll regroup and play again. Cause either way, if you're last year again, but it's a great face. That's like, keep moving.
Speaker 0 00:46:36 You totally broke up there. It was so perfect. And then all of a sudden,
Speaker 2 00:46:41 Okay, you got everything and Phil I'll tell you why you are the way you are. Yes. Okay, good, good. We can cut that. Okay. Right. Well, I will tell you, I will. I will tell you why you are the way that you are. And I really mean like, if you take nothing from this conversation, like this is the thing to take, you are the way you are because you are a human being and it is the way you're designed. That's why your feet are under your ankles. That's why you get pissed off when you make mistakes, because that's how your design. Now I'm not talking about who I'm going to tell you why you are the way you are. And if you don't take anything from this conversation, take this, okay? You are the way you are because you are a human being. And that's the way you're designed.
Speaker 2 00:47:26 Now, I'm not talking about who designed you or how you, your, or any of that. Your feet are under your ankles. If you don't have any legs, like I understand, then they stop at your knee, right? Or wherever, why you get pissed off when you make mistakes is that's what your client does while you get happy. When good things happen is that's what your of does. Sometimes you're up. Sometimes you're down and each of us has our own biology and then our own whatever's inside of us. That's the spirit consciousness, soul, whatever, that's the way you are. And instead of arguing with it, work with it. Look, I work out six days a week and I'm in great shape. And I am pitching towed. And they turned in so much people notice. I don't pretend. That's not the case. I will break my ankle. If I do very quickly, I just deal with it. And the opportunity is to stop saying, how do I stop being human? How do I get being human out of the way? And just to start to dance with being human because you are right. Awesome.
Speaker 0 00:48:28 I love it, Mike. Well, awesome, dude. I know you have to go, but thank you so much.
Speaker 2 00:48:32 Um, thank you.
Speaker 0 00:48:34 Thank you. And we appreciate you being on here and hopefully we can all be better humans as we go forward and understand that we are who we are and we will always be that way. So thanks brother. We appreciate everything and I hope you have a great rest of your day. Thank you all for listening. Yeah, man. Awesome. Thanks Mike. We'll talk to you soon
Speaker 2 00:48:57 Am. I'm sorry about the tech stuff, guys. I hope we got what we needed. Yeah, we're good, dude. No worries at all. Yeah. Great.
Speaker 0 00:49:03 All right, brother. Have a great day. See ya. Bye. Who knew we were all human? Wow. It's pretty awesome to know that we have the capability to be better professionals each and every day here at gig. Ready. Our goal is to continually help you take your plan, your desire, your goals, to the next level and help you become a better event professional. So please tell some friends, let them know about get ready, like subscribe, take just a few moments and tell everybody, you know, that gig ready is here to help you become better at what you do. No matter what it is. I hope you have a great day and we'll see you next time. <inaudible>.
